


These Scars Go Deep

by frominsideacomputer



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010), MacGyver (TV 2016), Magnum P.I. (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Car Accidents, Covert Ops, Criminal Minds Mention, Depression, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I loved him, M/M, Major Character Injury, Military Uniforms, Mourning, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Recovery, This bitch is about to get sad, Wakes & Funerals, it's gonna be a long one, lil crossover here innit, oh captain my captain, phoenix foundation, physical injuries, support animal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-08-20 06:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16550804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frominsideacomputer/pseuds/frominsideacomputer
Summary: Set three years after last friday's episode - if you haven't watched that I 100% apologise for spoilersWhen the worst happens, Danny's world collapses around him. But a gut feeling changes everything.





	1. He Was A Good Man

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry in advance

Danny stood in front of the bathroom mirror, hands gripped the ceramic sink making his knuckles bleached white. He just stared silently at his own reflection, looking at every scar, blemish and freckle on his skin. Water tripped from the faucet, he hadn’t quite turned it off properly after he washed his face. A razor sat on the sink, untouched in weeks and the evidence showed on Danny’s face: a beard once always cropped was now untamed. He’d even given up with putting all the gallons of product in his hair, he didn’t see the point in superficial things like that anymore.  
“Hey Danno,” Grace poked her head around the bathroom door, wearing a sorrowful expression. “We gotta go in ten minutes.” He stood up straight, sighing deeply.  
“Thanks, sweetheart.”

His navy uniform was hanging on his wardrobe, the promotion to Captain showed in the gold bars recently added to the jacket. He stopped and stared at it for a moment, his stomach tightening. As he fastened each button, he found himself unable to breathe out, he couldn’t seem to make himself relax, to make himself calm down. It wasn’t until he heard Charlie shout something downstairs that he was pulled out of his trance.  
“Graaaaaaaaace stop it!”  
Danny picked up his cap and went downstairs to see his daughter struggling to tie up Charlie’s tie. “Hey Charlie, let your sister help, okay buddy?” Charlie nodded, he didn’t fully understand what was going on, but he knew it had made Danno sad. Captain Williams saw the car pull up outside, and he knew it was time.

Arriving at the cemetery, Danny got out the car. Everyone he knew was there, Tani, Junior and their daughter; Chin, a heavily pregnant Abby, and Sara; Lou, Renee, Will and Samantha; Kono, Adam, Mary and Jean, Kamekona, Eric, Noelani, Max and Sabrina, Jerry, Duke, Catherine, Joe and so many other familiar faces. Hell, even Sang Min was there. A group of SEALs in their dress whites huddled at the back of the crowd.  
“Hey man.” Chin greeted him, pulling him into a hug. Grace immediately went over to Will, who hugged her tightly.  
“Hey, look I forgot to say congratulations.” Danny said very quietly, gesturing to Abby’s stomach.  
“Don’t worry about it.”  
An official joined the crowd, “Would Danny Williams, Chin Ho Kelly, Joe White, and Junior Reins please come with me?”

Drum beats sounded, and the four men walked in time, carrying the weight of the casket on their shoulders. They placed it on the supports and found their seats, all of them in uniform. The official stood at the head of the coffin, “Ladies and gentlemen, I only had the chance to meet Commander Steven McGarrett on occasions such as this. These are never the best times to see someone, but he was always so respectful, so appropriate and I knew that he was a good man. But I cannot stand here and talk about Commander McGarrett like I knew him well.”  
Chin was first up to speak. “Steve McGarrett believed in me when no one would, when the world had turned its back on me and I was so very much alone. Steve became ohana to me, the whole team did. I knew I could trust him with my life, and I did on so many occasions. That man understood me to my core, I didn’t have to tell him everything because he so often knew already. He wasn’t just a good boss, he was a good friend, everything he did, he did with love and I hope he knew how much he was loved by everyone here.

Next, a member of Steve’s SEAL team got up, he talked about being downrange with Steve, how, even in a time when everything seems hopeless, Steve was someone who they knew they could count on. He was saying things which Danny already knew.  
When he finished, Mary followed him to the podium. “I don’t think I ever met a single person who didn’t trust my brother. Or a single person who didn’t love him like a brother. After our mother died,” She paused, knowing there were some people who knew that this was a complete lie, many of them smiled briefly, but Danny hated being reminded how Doris had ruined her children’s’ lives. “Steve stepped up to look after me when dad was working late, when he working a case what had his full attention. And he never stopped looking out for me, he was always my big brother. I loved him so much, and I am really going to miss him.”

Danny knew that was his cue to speak, a lump grew in his throat as he walked up to the podium. “The day I first met Steve, he pulled a gun on me. And there were so many days after that when I’m glad he didn’t shoot me, because that man saved my life countless times, even if it was through the most ridiculous methods.” He swallowed, feeling tears begin to well up in his eyes. “It wasn’t just at work that I knew I could trust him, against all odds, we went into business together. We opened a restaurant from nothing, it was one of the most insane decisions we ever made, and that includes the time he set off a grenade in a building that had collapsed on top of us. We argued, we bickered and we blamed each other for everything that went wrong, but in the end, when the reviews came in raving about it, we knew that our partnership was made to last. He was Charlie’s godfather, and I believed that if anything ever happened to me, he’d be there to take care of my children. I never for once imagined that Steve McGarrett, the fearless animal of a Navy SEAL, who I donated half a liver to, who had radiation poisoning, who saved my life on thousands of occasions, would be the one to die before me. I know he wanted to bring a family into the world, I know he wanted kids of his own, even if they’d end up being tiny little gun-wielding Stevens, he’d have looked after them and loved them with everything he had. I loved him and I will miss him with every fibre of my being.”

The rest of the service unfolded with all the official military regalia and ceremony, Mary was handed a folded flag, gun shots fired into the sky for a ten-gun salute, and the coffin was lowered into the ground. But Danny wasn’t really paying attention to that, he couldn’t get his head around the fact that his best-friend, his partner, the man he loved, was gone so suddenly.

That fateful day, when the bullet from the killer’s gun went straight through his chest, piercing a hole in his lung. Danny had tried so hard to save him, the doctors had tried so hard to save him, but in the end, it was useless. Danny remembered seeing the body lying there in the morgue. Steve’s skin was a pasty, sickly white, the ink of his tattoos still dark against the pale flesh. He was so cold and so still that Danny couldn’t bring himself to go into the room, he couldn’t believe that the man he had always slightly believed would never die was so very, very dead. Noelani had performed the autopsy, but her results were the same as the surgeon. The bullet had shredded his lung, crushing his ribs and causing too much internal damage to be fixed.

 

Perhaps if any of them hadn’t been thinking off all the memories they had of Steve, or crying into a tissue, they would have seen the black car pull up. If Danny hadn’t given such a beautiful eulogy which had the entire congregation sobbing, they might have noticed him leaning in the shadows against an old oak tree. If there wasn’t the promise of the best Italian food on the island at the wake, they might have seen the man stand over the recent grave, looking down at the name and inscription newly engraved into the marble: “Ohana was always first.”

The wake took place at the restaurant, Steve had requested it in his will. There was nowhere else appropriate he said, because that was somewhere which he had poured his heart and soul into. While the rest of the congregation stood and talked, many of them catching up on the last years of their lives, Danny, Chin, and Kono sat outside on the veranda in complete silence. The original Five-O task force, reunited only for the worst possible reason. They hadn’t seen each other in over a year, and every single one of them regretted not picking up the phone.

Kono was first to speak. “We all know he wouldn’t have wanted us to be like this.” Danny didn’t say anything, truth be told, he wasn’t really listening.  
“Truth be told cuz, I’m not sure we could have known what he would have wanted. We hadn’t seen him in over a year.” Chin replied solemnly.  
The doors behind them slid open, Lou, Tani, Junior, and Jerry joined them. The newer members of the team, the ones who had seen Steve more recently. Lou placed a hand on Danny’s shoulder and sat down next to him with two glasses of scotch.  
“I refuse to believe it.” Jerry said, his face red from crying.  
“This isn’t one of your stupid conspiracy theories, Jer, he’s gone.” Tani said, she was in the middle of the angry stage of grief.  
“I know that, I just can’t believe it!” He snapped back, but then his tone softened. “I’m sorry, you know-”  
“Yeah, I’m sorry too.” Tani leaned on the veranda railing, looking off into the distance.  
“He was a brilliant man.” Junior was quiet, melancholy.  
“But he was also a good man.” Lou added.

As the others were talking, Danny was thinking about his time with Steve. It was just over twelve years they’d known each other, just over seven since they’d opened the restaurant, but it had only been a month since they had finally admitted to each other how they really felt. He felt a ball of energy grew in his chest, about to explode.  
“I loved him.” He whispered, causing the others to fall silent.  
“We all did Danny.” Chin replied.  
“No, you don’t get it,” Danny turned around to face the group. “It wasn’t just like that, Steve and I,” He swallowed. “We were together, we were more than just friends.” He couldn’t look any of them in the eyes.  
“Fucking finally, oh my god.” Kono exclaimed, laughing lightly.  
“We thought you’d never admit it.” Junior said, looking up at Tani, who smiled at her husband.  
“Admit what?” Adam and Max also joined the group, leaving the noise of inside behind them.  
When Danny didn’t say anything, Chin responded for him. “That Danny and Steve were head-over-heels in love with one another.”  
“Oh, well that was obvious.” Adam said. “I’m just shocked it took the rest of you this long to figure it out.” For the first time since Steve’s death, Danny smiled. His smile turned into his huge New Jersey grin, which in turn became a laugh. Soon all of them were laughing, the Five-O family, from the origins to its latest incarnation.

The afternoon stretched out into the evening, and the group stayed on the restaurant’s veranda, reminiscing about their boss, their friend, their ohana. At around half past ten, a black truck pulled away from the curb across from the restaurant, if the team had been paying attention, they would have noticed it drive away. If they’d looked at the right time, they would have caught a glimpse of the driver when the street light flashed through the window. Maybe they would have seen a familiar tattoo poking out from under his t-shirt sleeve as he sped away into the night.

* * *

 

**Sixth months later**

Charlie was at a friend’s house for a sleepover party, and Grace was off looking at colleges on the mainland with her mother. Danny arrived home later from work, they’d just solved a major case, but he didn’t feel like celebrating with the team. None of them really did, knowing it was exactly six months since Steve had died. They were all getting on with their lives, but it was difficult. So many things reminded them of him, from turning up to work each day, to the empty space on the bench at Kamekona’s, to Danny driving himself to work. They’d told him he shouldn’t have come back to work so soon, but he couldn’t sit at home doing nothing.

When he got home, the house was quiet and dark, all the lights were off and there was no sound of the TV or music from his children. Perhaps that was the first moment of nothing he’d experienced in a while, and perhaps that’s what made him want to go to Steve’s house. As he drove, he couldn’t understand why he was going, but he felt it in his gut that he had to be there tonight. He trusted his instinct.

The furniture was all covered in white sheets, they were in the process of deciding what to do with it. It was technically Mary’s now, she didn’t need it, living on the mainland, but she was reluctant to sell it, knowing the house had memories and secrets only the McGarrett ohana understood. It was ghostly quiet, his footsteps echoed as the floorboards creaked beneath him. He stood in the darkness for a moment, taking it all in, feeling himself begin to cry until he heard a noise come from the garage.  
“Fucking wildlife.” He stomped his way down the steps to, ready to set whatever animal had gotten into the garage out. He flicked the light on, the naked bulb swung from the ceiling, casting a sharp electric beam over the room. It was then that he expected the animal to dash out from under the car, or from behind the rows of the toolboxes which lined the shelves, but nothing happened.  
He put a hand on his gun, trigger finger ready. Cautiously, he stepped around the car, assuming it was someone coming to rob the place. Suddenly he saw some movement and a black hoodie appeared “Captain Danny Williams, Five-O!” He shouted, pulling his gun out at the mysterious man.  
“I know who you are.” The figure replied, his voice low and gravelly.


	2. I Was There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny can't believe it, but he's still confused and unsure what to do

“Who the hell are you? Turn around or I’ll shoot you.”  
The figure stood up to his full height, about half a foot taller than Danny, his broad shoulders rolling back, and he turned around slowly. “You didn’t shoot me twelve years ago, what makes you think you’ll do it this time?” When the light hit the man’s face, Danny almost dropped his gun.  
“I don’t know, I’ve never shot a ghost.” He snapped, putting his weapon away.  
“Hello Danny.”

Danny felt his heart stop, the world around him seemed to fall away, leaving just him and Steve standing there. “It must be genetic.” He eventually spat, voice loaded with spite. “Or is it just a fun McGarrett family tradition to fake your own death and leave behind everyone you love?”  
“You think I wanted this?” Steve growled, his mouth moving under the heavy beard that he had grown. “You think I wanted to leave behind my entire life? My sister? My godson? The man I love?!”  
Danny was stunned into silence. “Love?” He breathed eventually.  
“I said what I said,” Steve crossed his and leaned on the trunk of the car. “You’ll want an explanation.”  
“You’re damn right I want an explanation. Steve, we all thought you were dead. We had a funeral, they gave Mary a flag! We had a wake at the restaurant!”  
“I know, I was there.”  
“You were there? You were at your own fucking funeral. That’s so like you!” Danny scoffed in disbelief.  
Steve pulled the hood off the top of his head and Danny finally got a good look at his partner. His hair had grown, it was thickly framing his face, merging into the beard which was blanketing his chin and neck. It was greyer that the last time Danny had seen it, Steve looked so much older. There were new scars visible of the exposed skin, his eyes were tired and weary. Danny could see Steve had gone through hell, there was real pain plastered across his face.  
“Look- “  
“What happened to you?” Danny whispered, interrupting Steve.  
“I’ll tell you, I promise, but right now I really need a shower.”

After his shower, Steve came downstairs and sat next to Danny on the couch, breathing heavily, like there was something weighing on his chest. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees.  
Taking a deep breath, he explained everything.  
“About 10 months ago, I received a call from Phoenix Foundation- “  
“Your friend Jack Dalton and Angus MacGyver’s Phoenix Foundation?”  
“Yeah. I got a call saying they’d received intel that there was a mole in the CIA. They didn’t know who, but the intel suggested it was someone with a connection to Doris McGarrett. I assumed they were looking for her, and just wanted my help to find her. I refused at first, saying I couldn’t help. But then another call came in, from the CIA, my mother had been killed in Thailand on a covert mission.”  
“Oh Steve.” Danny whispered, in shock.  
“I called Phoenix, saying I wanted to help, assuming that my mother had found out who the mole was and they had killed her for it. For a while, it was just a point of interrogating her contacts, working out where the leak was coming from. But then, I received a package with photos of me, you, Grace, Charlie, Mary, Jean, almost everyone we know, and a note which read “Stop looking or you’ll have a lot of burying to do” It was then that the plan to fake my death was formulated. Getting me officially out of the picture was the only way to get the targets off your back. I knew a car accident like my mother’s wouldn’t fly with you, with anyone, so I had Dalton shoot me on what seemed like a takedown gone wrong.”  
“Are you saying that entire case was a set up?” Danny snarled, his voice overflowing with anger,  
“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. I was rushed into surgery, but Phoenix doctors took over, they fixed the wound and I escaped out the back.”  
“I saw your body! Noelani did the autopsy!”  
“Actually, you didn’t, you saw a silicone model. And Noelani didn’t do the autopsy, she couldn’t bring herself to do it, so a fake assistant M.E. wrote the report.”  
“You said 10 months ago? That means...” He trailed off, voice choking up.  
“That I knew this was all going to happen when we...yeah I did. I hated every minute of it, I hated being with you knowing that I’d break your heart.” Steve turned to look at Danny, who was on the verge of tears. “We found the mole a week ago, he’d been selling state secrets to anyone who’d pay. I came back as soon as I could.”

Danny didn’t know what to say, he was a whirlwind of emotions. He hated Steve for leaving, but he understood that Steve had only done it to protect them. He was happy Steve was back, but wished he’d never been gone in the first instance.  
“But what happened to you? Because you look like you’ve been through two world wars.”  
“I can’t talk about it.” Steve whispered, pain filling his voice.  
“Let me guess, it’s classified?” Danny grumbled.  
“Not really, but I can’t talk about it yet, it’s still so...recent.” His fists clenched at the thought of recalling what had happened. Danny noticed this and moved closer to Steve. He put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. Whatever hatred Danny was feeling at Steve for leaving had to be put aside for now, his friend was in pain and he needed to help.  
“Whenever you’re ready.” He rested his head on Steve’s shoulder, feeling his warmth and life. “You could have told me, you know that don’t you?”  
“There was nothing more I wanted to do than to tell you everything, hell, I was even asked if I wanted you to join the team. But you have two children, if anything had happened to you, I would never have forgiven myself.”  
“I never forgave myself for not having your back that day you were killed, or not killed.”  
“You couldn’t have done anything; the whole day had been planned to the second.”  
“But we caught the guy who killed you?”  
“You didn’t, you caught an agent who was broken out of prison about a month after you caught him.”  
“That day ruined my life, I lost everything, my world collapsed around me and there was nothing I could do. Therapists told me to take it one day at a time, to take each day as it happened. The team have supported each other through it all, Grace has stepped up to look after Charlie when I’d find myself at the bottom of a bottle.”

Steve stood up, walking away from Danny. He couldn’t look him in the eye because all he saw was pain and loss. Pain and loss which he’d caused directly. The house was still mostly in darkness, only a few lights were still working, so low shadows were cast over the two men, from where Danny was sitting, Steve looked like nothing more than a shadow, nothing more than a trick of the light.  
“You weren’t supposed to find out like this,” Steve leaned against the banister, looking down. “Why were you even here?”  
“Something in my gut told me to come here. I don’t know why, maybe I instinctively knew something was going to happen.” He paused to swallow. “You’ll have to tell the others, tell Mary, Kono, Chin, everyone.”  
“Actually, Mary already knows, I called her three days ago, I’m not sure she ever going to speak to me again.”  
“She’s got a point.” Danny could understand where Steve’s sister was coming from, he wasn’t sure he could cope with having Steve back.  
“I know, I know what I did was unforgivable, and I always swore I’d never be like my mother and here I am, following in her footsteps. I hated her for what she did to us, so if you hate me, if you never want to see me again, I’d understand.” The sorrow and angst in Steve’s voice hit Danny in the stomach like a baseball bat.  
He stood up slowly, walked over to Steve and just hugged him. Steve’s arms wrapped around Danny and he felt something he’d missed dearly for six months. He felt safe.

Danny pulled away slightly and, reaching up, he placed a soft kiss on Steve’s lips.  
“I am glad you’re back,” He whispered. “But please shave the beard or I’ll kill you myself.”  
“Consider it done.” Steve replied, kissing Danny back.

That night, Steve lay awake next to Danny in his bed. He couldn’t sleep, every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the 5 by 5 underground cell he’d been locked in for 3 months. The only time he’d leave that room was too be tortured: he didn’t see daylight in 96 days, didn’t feel fresh air for 103 days, didn’t have any human contact for 162 days.  
Eventually he dozed off at around 6am for a hour or two. He could only assume the sleep was thanks to Danny curled up next to him.

Danny woke before Steve, he daren’t move for fear of waking him up. His eyes took in the sight before him, Steve was so still and so peaceful, it was a sight Danny knew too well. But he was reassured by seeing Steve’s chest rising and falling. He scanned Steve’s body, noticing all the new scars, all the new cuts and damage that had been done. It was like a war zone, destroyed by conflict. As Steve shifted in his sleep, he exposed a bold scar on his shoulder, still raw and recent. It was like he’d been branded; the shape was a number 5. Danny found himself tracing it with his finger and the movement caused Steve to wake up.  
“Morning babe,” Danny whispered.  
Steve turned to face him, hiding the scar in the sheets. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready.” Danny reassured seeing Steve’s face fill with worry. “What are you doing today?” Danny asked, cuddling isn’t Steve.  
“Shaving off this beard, making a few phone calls to explain everything. I’d appreciate it though if you didn’t tell the rest of the team, I’d like to be the one to tell them.”  
“Okay, but I don’t know how I’ll be able to keep quiet.”  
“I trust you Danno.”

After going home and pinching himself multiple times to check he wasn’t dreaming, Danny rocked up to work having shaved as well, and having had slicked his hair back like it as before Steve left.

“Hey boss, you look good!” Tani called as he walked into the office.  
“Figured it was time to clean up a bit.” Danny shrugged, heading into his office.  
Adam came in about two minutes later with Jerry, “Danny, I’ve known you long enough to know you don’t make those kinds of changes unless something’s happened. So, what’s going on? You meet someone?”  
“Kinda,” Danny replied, avoiding eye contact with either of them. “No big deal.”  
“Boss, it’s alright we get it.” Jerry reassured, handing Danny a stack of files. “Here’s the reports you asked for. But we do demand you tell us everything about them.”  
“Thanks Jerry.” He finally looked up at them, smirking a little.  
“Oh my god! You got some last night!” Jerry exclaimed, ever since Steve had gone, he’d become much bolder.  
“No, of course he didn’t-” Adam began, but after taking one look at Danny’s face, his mouth dropped open.  
Jerry opened the door, calling Lou, Junior and Tani into the office. “Guys come here!”  
“Thanks for the team meeting about my private life, I’m truly honoured you all care this much.”  
“So, what’s their name? Was is a guy or a girl?” Tani interrogated.  
“I’m still all of your boss. Do you want a job here or shall I start looking for replacements?” Danny joked, shooing them out of the room.  
“Tell us at Kamekona’s tonight, it’s Friday so drinks are on Junior and Adam.” Tani called as they left the room.

The day passed with no events, they weren’t called in for any cases and was a slow day full of paperwork. But Danny had a new-found energy, all he wanted was to get home to Steve. To make up for a lost sixth months.  
“See you at the beach at 8?!” Jerry called as Danny left.  
“Sure!”

Danny drove straight to the McGarrett home, finding Steve sitting on the Lanai, shaven and clean, but still weary and pained.  
“How was your day?” Danny leaned on the back of the chair Steve was sitting in. He was still trying to get used to the fact that Steve was really back.  
“I called Chin and Kono, they both caught the first flights out, they should be landing soon. Everyone else is here on the island.”  
“How would you feel about coming to Kamekona’s tonight? They have a right to know.”  
Steve sighed, he knew Danny was right, and if he left it too long, it would be much harder to explain, to make it up to them.  
“I’ll come, but I can’t promise staying for long.”  
“That’s understandable.”  
Steve’s phone rang, “Hey Chin? What’s up?” He read the caller ID and picked up the phone.  
_Our flight’s just landed, see you later?_  
“Meet us at Kamekona’s in an hour?”  
_Wouldn’t miss it._

For the next few moments, they both sat in silence, just watching the ocean.  
“Burma.” Steve suddenly said.  
“What?”  
“Burma, it’s where I was.”  
“I think it’s now technically called the People’s Democratic Republic of Myanmar.”  
“Yeah that was my priority when I was locked in a windowless cell.”  
“Fuck.” Danny whispered.  
“We got a lead on the person who’d killed my mother, we stormed the building but it was a trap and I was captured. I was in that room for three months, barely able to tell day from night, north from south. I was electrocuted, burned, crushed, drowned and branded.”  
“You know when I call you superman, I mean it.” Danny couldn’t believe what Steve had gone through, he couldn’t believe he come out the other side alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry


	3. Oh Captain, Come Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve begins to get his life back on track

When Danny pulled the car up, Steve tensed. Everyone he knew was sitting on the bench: laughing and eating shrimp. “Still want to do this?” Danny placed a hand on Steve’s, looking concerned.  
“I have to. But maybe you go first.”

Danny got out of the car, and joined the group. Chin and Kono both stood up to greet him.  
“Hey guys! How’re you doing?” Danny hugged them both, and ushered them away so they couldn’t be overheard by the others.  
“I’m in shock.” Kono exhaled heavily, putting her hands on her hips.  
“Of all the people to do something like this, of course it was McGarrett.” Chin shook his head lightly. “How are you holding up?”  
“I don’t know man, one minute I’m happy he back and the next I’m angry at him for leaving in the first place.”  
“Hey Danny!” Tani called, gesturing for them to come over. “First round is on these guys,” She handed him a beer. “Now, spill, who had you all smitten this morning?”  
Chin and Kono looked at Danny with raised eyebrows. He shrugged, “Actually, I invited them tonight, we’ve known each other for a while actually and well, figured it was time.” He walked back to the car, whispering to Chin to make sure the others were distracted.  
Steve was leaning on a palm tree when Danny reached him. “Danny I’m not sure I can do this.”  
“Yeah you can, this is the first part of getting your life back. Come on, you’ve got some explaining to do.”

Chin noticed Danny and Steve coming over, but didn’t break conversation, keeping them distracted, wrapped up in a debate about the best Star Wars movie.  
“Hey you guys,” Danny got their attention, and they all gradually turned around. “I think you’ve probably all met my partner.”  
Steve stepped out of the shadow from the palm trees, and-  
“Fuck!” “Sir!” “I knew it.” “Steve.” “I’m gonna kill you.” The group all reacted in their own way: Tani just swore like a sailor, Junior acted like his CO had just called him to attention. Jerry seemed almost proud of himself; Adam smiled softly, just understanding; and Grover laughed gently, but Steve could see tears in his eyes.

They then realised that Chin and Kono didn’t react, that they’d stayed quiet and calm.  
“You knew?” Jerry snapped, suddenly very angry.  
“Only for 5 hours or so,” Chin calmed him down. “Why else would we have come home?”  
“We thought you missed us.” Grover scowled jovially. “Danny, what about you? Did you know the whole time?”  
“Me? No, I nearly shot the big putz in his garage last night.”  
“Sounds familiar,” Kono smiled. “Didn’t that happen before? About twelve years ago?”

Danny and Steve sat down next to each other, and opposite Chin and Kono. Steve was immediately bombarded with questions, they deserved to know what had happened but he couldn’t bring himself to tell them, not yet. It was one thing telling Danny one to one, but there were so many people, he felt gut wrenchingly sick. So, he gave an abridged version:  
“I got a call from the Secret Service, about a leak linked to my mother. They wanted my help, I initially refused but,” He paused, although his mother had betrayed him, it still hurt losing her properly. Under the table, Danny squeezed his hand. “But, things changed and I couldn’t say no. The plan to kill me was the only way to keep all of you safe.”  
“We can take care of ourselves.” Tani snapped, still impulsive and passionate. She was angry, and she had a right to be, but Steve’s death hadn’t affected her like it had many of the others. She hadn’t known him for as long, and didn’t have a connection fuelled in multiple life and death situations.  
“I know, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but you were all in real danger.”  
“So, what happened? You get the guy?” Junior asked, calming his Tani down.  
“I’m afraid that’s classified, but I wouldn’t be back if it wasn’t a success.” Steve looked up at Chin and Kono, who understood that he didn’t want to tell the others everything just yet.

Just then, a booming voice sounded behind them.  
“Commander McGarrett, returned from the dead!”  
“Kamekona,” Steve stood up to be pulled into hug. “I’ve missed you brother.”  
“In celebration of this, 20% all food bought between now and closing time!”  
“But you close in half an hour!” Danny objected.  
“Business is business, bruddah.”

“Actually, it’s Captain McGarrett now.” Steve mumbled, sitting back down.  
“Oh, looks like it’s going to be battle of the Captains back at the office.” Tani laughed.  
“I think I outrank a dead man.” Danny replied quickly, when Steve completely shut down. He didn’t know whether he’d be coming back to work, not yet anyway.  
“We should probably go, we’ve only paid the sitter for two hours,” Junior and Tani stood up, “It’s good to have you back Sir.” Junior saluted, standing to attention.  
“At ease, sailor.” Steve replied, saluting half-heartedly.  
“I won’t salute but it is good to have you back.”  
“Actually guys, can you give me a lift to HQ? I left my bike there!” Jerry dashes after them. “Glad you’re not dead Comman- I mean Captain!” He called, running across the sand.

Left on the bench were Danny and Steve, Lou, Chin, Kono, and Adam. Kono and Adam were on good terms, Adam understood what Kono’s job had meant to her, and he accepted that. Yet since Steve’s death, they’d become closer again.

These were the people who Steve trusted and loved the most, it wasn’t that he didn’t trust Tani, Junior and Jerry, but the people sitting with him now had been there when his mother had come back, when he’d chased down Wo Fat, Victor Hesse, Madison Gray.  
“You are coming back to work, right?” Danny asked, feeling Steve’s at snake around his waist.  
“I don’t know, I don’t know if I’m ready to.”  
“Boss-”  
“Kono, I’m not your boss anymore, you’re running your own task force.”  
“If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you can’t sit idle for long.”  
“Yeah, she’s right, how many times have you ignored post-op instructions to get back to work? Or managed to find yourself working when you were sick?” Chin laughed, agreeing with his cousin.  
“I know, but this is different. I’m not just getting used to a new liver, or mourning the death of my aunt. This is bigger than that.”  
“You know we’re all here for you,” Adam said. “You can talk to us, obviously not the classified parts though.”  
“Actually, very little of it is classified.” Steve corrected, knowing he’d have to explain what happened and it hurt every time.  
“Then why not tell the others?”  
“As much I trust them, I’ve known all of you for a lot longer, most of you you knew my mother, you knew what she was like. Or you understand why I had to do what I did.” He nodded at Adam, who truly did understand. “I can’t sit here and say it was a decision I wanted to make, I can’t sit here and expect you to be able to welcome me back with open arms. I betrayed all of you, and I am sorry.”  
“Steve, tell us what happened.” Chin’s voice was quiet, unassuming, but entirely compassionate.  
His arm tightened around Danny, using him for support. There was a moment of silence, just the noise of the ocean and of the cars on the road. Steve realised he was home, and he was safe. And so he told them what had happened, in more detail than he’d told Danny before. He explained the number five burned into his back. He explained the new scars on his arms, why he’d broken two ribs, and why his lungs weren’t working properly yet.  
He explained how they’d caught the mole, how there had been hitmen watching every single one of Steve’s family and friends.  
“...And so, I came home.” He finished, meeting silence.  
“Is she really gone this time?” Chin whispered, still processing everything Steve had just said.  
“I wish I could say otherwise, but I saw the body. She’s gone.” It hurt him to talk about his mother, and Danny sensed that, he placed a hand on Steve’s leg as a gesture of empathy.  
“Steve, I’m so sorry.”  
“Don’t be, I don’t deserve your sympathies.” He shook his head, guilt was eating away at everything bone in his body. He couldn’t bring himself to believe that the others really understood his actions.  
“Look, McGarrett,” Lou spoke for the first time in a while. “What you did, you did to protect your family, to protect us. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we forgive you.” The others, including Danny, all nodded.  
“Mahalo.”  
“Now, what’s this about you being Captain McGarrett now?” Lou continued, lightening the mood, but they were all still stewing in the details of Steve’s story.  
Steve smiled, “It’s a bit new, the ceremony was only four days ago. I got my new uniform and came back. After the events in Burma-“  
“People’s Republic of Myanmar.” Danny interjected.  
“After that, I was commended for my service and made Captain. I think technically I’m still also an agent so it’s probably Agent Captain Steve McGarrett.”  
“It’s not a competition.” Danny said, laughing a little.  
“You’re just upset because you’re not the highest-ranking office anymore.” Lou laughed, finishing his beer. “This has been an, interesting evening, but my days of staying out late are coming to an end. I’m an old man now.”  
Steve held his arm out, waiting for a handshake, but Lou insisted on a hug.  
“Come on man, I thought you were dead, least you can do is give me a hug.”  
“Actually I might head home too, I’m volunteering at the community centre tomorrow from like 9.” Adam also hugged Steve, whispering to him. “I understand why. Thanks for coming home.”  
“Mahalo.”  
Just as Adam started to walk away, Kono stood up and caught up with him. “Can we talk?” Danny heard her say before their voices were lost to soundtrack of Hawaii.

Chin and Danny went to grab another round of beers from the van, and Kono returned a few moments later, looking content.  
“Everything alright cuz?” Chin asked, placing the bottles on the table.  
“Oh, um, that? Yeah, it’s good.”  
“Care to share?” Chin pushed, worrying about his cousin.  
“It’s just, I’ve been thinking about coming home for sometime now, well, also sixth months,” She nodded at Steve, who almost managed to smile. “And I wanted to talk to him if he’d be okay with me being back.”  
“Normally I call him the putz,” Danny said, outraged, gesturing to Steve. “But the man is clearly still in love with you. Coming back would mean everything to him!”  
Kono blushed like a school girl, “Really? No?” A smile grew on her face, she had hated leaving Adam.  
“If you feel the same, there’s no nothing stopping you.” Danny finished.  
“I just, I’ve achieved so much with Five-0 on the mainland, I don’t know if I can leave it all behind.”  
“If you left, who’d take over?” Steve asked.  
“Her name is Elle Greenaway, she’s ex-fbi.”  
“Do you trust her?”  
“With my life.”  
“Then I don’t see why you can’t come back. As long as you trust her deeply, she’ll continue all the work you were doing. You have to make sure whoever you leave in charge,” He paused to look at Danny. “You know they will always do the right thing.”  
“Leaving me in charge implies I had a choice in the matter.” Danny grumbled.  
“You don’t think I stopped coming to crime scenes, stopped spending so much time on cases because I was getting tired? I kept putting you in charge more and more because I knew what was going to happen,” Steve explained. “You’d also just been promoted, I knew you could handle it.”  
“Still wish you’d told me what was going on.” Danny muttered, grumpy and annoyed at Steve.  
“Oh come on Williams,” Chin was exasperated. “If you didn’t like being in charge, he’s back now so it’s fine.”  
“I didn’t say anything about not liking being in charge!”  
“Stop complaining then.” Steve muttered, kissing Danny lightly on the cheek.

The night grew dark, the four of them, the original four from Five-O sat and talked about the old days, about the early days of the task force. From Steve’s brief stint in jail, to the whole Governor and Wo Fat debacle. From when they first met Sang Min to where he was now (“Still hoping I’ll give him a chance.” - Kono). The stories reminded Steve of a good life, of a happier time. He fell silent, listening to the others talk about the lives they’d saved, the families they’d kept together. Of the family they’d become over the years, how much each of the had changed. Kono, first a rookie straight out of the academy, to running her own national task force. Chin, a disgraced cop, working in a café, to in charge of San Francisco’s Five-O. Danny, a detective so far out of his comfort zone it was funny, to a Captain and restaurant owner on an island he’d never have thought he’d call home. Steve had seen them all at their worst and at their best. It made him want to return to work, maybe not immediately, but soon. He wanted to help people again, the way the Five-O Ohana did.

They all left the beach around midnight, Chin and Kono both hugged Steve, and made sure they’d see him again before they both flew back to the mainland.  
“I’ll drive.” Danny said, as soon as they were alone.  
“I faked my death not a brain injury.” Steve rolled his eyes and got in the driver’s side. Danny reluctantly handed him the keys.

They drove in silence, until  
“Hey that’s my turn!” Danny suddenly realise Steve had gone straight past it.  
“Sorry did you think you were going home?” Steve smirked mischievously. “Because that’s not what’s happening.”  
“But Grace? Charlie?”  
“It’s the first weekend of the month so aren’t they at Rachel’s?”  
“How do you- you know what, never mind. There’s no stopping you, you’re like a trolley problem: either one of us gets hurt or everyone does.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve pulled the Camaro into his drive.  
“I mean, whatever the decision is with you, it’s gonna happen, apparently even death can’t stop you.” Danny followed Steve into his house, still completely oblivious to Steve’s intentions.  
“For a brilliant detective, you can be impressively oblivious sometimes.” Steve pushed Danny up against the wall and kissed him hard. Finally Danny understood, and he pushed back against Steve, feeling the recently shaved skin beneath his own. Steve’s hands ran through Danny’s hair, every strand twisting around his fingers.  
They’d both missed sixth months of this, the relationship had been pulled apart too soon, before the passionate lustful first part of it was over.  
“Bedroom.” Steve ordered, pulling Danny upstairs. He pushed Danny onto the bed. “Don’t go anywhere.” He left the room, shutting the door, leaving Danny lying on the bed, turned on like lights at Christmas.

The door opened and Steve came back into the room, wearing his new Captain’s uniform, cap and all.  
Danny swallowed, he could feel himself getting harder and harder. It’d had been over sixth months since he’d last had any sex, and sixth months without Steve’s touch. Steve climbed on top of Danny, kissing his neck. He hit a nerve, and Danny shivered, his whole body tensing.  
Just before Danny’s lips were pressed on Steve once more, he whispered  
“Oh Captain, my Captain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where this is gonna go tbh, stick with me there'll for sure be some angst but also some heart warming relationship fluff


	4. Putting my feelings aside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betrayal is a hard thing to get over

Danny woke the next morning in a sweaty tangle of legs, sheets, and Steve. The naval uniform was scattered across the bedroom: jacket hanging on the bed post, cap swinging from the lamp, trousers crumpled on the floor. Danny smiled as he thought about it, he’d not only missed the sex, but he’d forgotten how good the sex actually was.  
Steve groaned and rolled over, just getting himself more stuck in the sheets.  
“Move, you sweaty animal.” Danny pushed him away, not wanting anymore body heat.  
“Stop whining, Danno.” Mumbled Steve into the pillow, one arm hanging off the side of the bed and the other loosely draped on Danny’s chest.  
“Mhmmmm, make me, Steven.” Danny mumbled quietly, regretting it as soon as the words came out of his mouth.

Steve pulled himself up, moving so his face was mere centimetres from Danny’s. He swung a leg over Danny and straddled him, sweaty skin on sweatier skin. “You know you don’t have challenge everything I say.” Danny whispered, looking right at Steve’s deep, dark, dreamy eyes.  
“But where’s the fun in that?” Steve bit his lip, faking innocence. After a beat of heated silence, Steve kissed Danny heavily, it was tired and hot but it was intense and loving.  
“Please get off me or I’m going to melt.” Danny eventually wriggled his way out from under Steve and got out of bed.  
“You live Hawaii, you should be used to the heat.” Steve lay on his back, arms behind his head.  
“No, no, no, I am used to the daily heat, but I am not used to the extra body heat and sweat after what we just spent two hours doing.”  
He rummaged through Steve’s drawers of clothes, looking for some sweatpants to put on.  
“Hey! Hey, what are you doing?”  
“Looking for sweatpants?”  
“You didn’t think you could’ve asked me before you messed up my drawers?”  
“Steve your drawers are a mess, it’s like everything they taught you in the navy was forgotten as soon as it hit this drawer.”  
“I know where everything is. It’s organised mess.”  
“It’s idiotic. If I’d asked what would you have said anyway?”  
“I would have said yes and then told you to fill the bottom drawer with your stuff so you don’t have borrow mine all the time.”  
“Why do I get the bottom drawer? Actually, hold up a second, are you saying I get a drawer? Babe, after that I’ll be moving in.” He sat down on the bed, twisting round to face Steve.  
“Wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

Something about hearing Steve say that made Danny feel sick. His stomach churned, he stood up, pulled on his shirt from the day before. “I’m sorry, I gotta go...” He dashed out of the room, leaving Steve to wrap the sheet around his waist, and follow him downstairs.  
“Danny wait!” He called, as Danny reached the front door.  
“I gotta go, I’m sorry.” The door closed and Steve was left stood on the stairs, covered in a white sheet like most of his furniture was still.

Danny drove home, barely keeping within the speed limit. His head was a mess, thoughts and feelings jumbled around like jigsaw pieces in a box.  
He stumbled out of the car, and collapsed on the couch. He still felt sick, like his stomach was being pulled tighter and tighter. His head dropped into his hands, tired from the night before, but overcome with a swell of emotions. It was all happening too quickly, Steve was suddenly back, suddenly saying I love you, suddenly talking about moving in. As happy as it made him that Steve was back, he’d gone from a state of mediocrity to a being overjoyed. But it had happened so fast, it was too quick, he’d gone from zero to sixty in 3 seconds and it had ripped his heart into pieces. Steve mentioning him moving in brought Danny down from a high and back into reality. It had suddenly hit him what had actually happened, how Steve had really betrayed him, not only by faking his own death but by not even telling him about it. His trust in the man was wavering because, after six months of mourning, of depression and the bottom of bottles, he was suddenly being forced to go back to normal.

Before Steve had left, they were only seeing each other casually, it was kept quiet, no one knew. Now, after what Danny had seen as a breakup, Steve was saying the L word, talking about moving in and it scared Danny. He was scared because realised that he didn’t trust Steve to stay, didn’t trust him to always be there. He was worried that he’d wake up one morning and his partner would be gone. He was scared of Steve not just leaving, but he realised he was terrified of having to go through the agony of Steve dying all over again. He couldn’t bear the loss of his partner for the second time in his life.  
His phone buzzed, Steve had texted him but he couldn’t bring himself to read it. That would have meant admitting to the truths which he didn’t want to believe were true.

Back at McGarrett’s, Steve had been stood in the shower for nearly an hour. The first ten minutes he’d just been washing the sweat and the sleep off. But then, as the warm water washed over his skin, over his scars and tattoos. When the water touched the raw patches of his skin, his tensed all his muscles tightly, pressing a hand against the glass of the shower until the skin was white. Every touch that hit the scars threw him back into that cell, to those chains, to the hell he’d endured. The scar from the liver transplant was fading, but the gun shot from six months ago was still fresh, still pink, but it was getting lost among other wounds now. There were lashes across his back from a belt, cuff scars on his wrists and ankles, and then there were all the internal injuries. Broken ribs, broken jaw, shattered knee cap, punctured lung. Steve’s body was broken through and through. He needed time to heal, but he needed someone to help.

And that’s why Danny rushing out had not only confused him, but made him feel vulnerable. He knew that Danny had plenty of reasons to be angry at him, but it still hurt when he’d run out. Steve had mentioned the words “moving in” and that had sent Danny running. He knew he shouldn’t have said something like that, he’d only just come back and it was all too sudden. He had completely disappeared from Danny’s life, and the suddenly come back, like nothing had changed.  
He texted Danny as soon as he was out of the shower: _We can talk when you're ready_. Nothing too pushy, nothing too intense because he knew that it would scare Danny off even more. He couldn’t smother Danny, but he didn’t want to push him away accidentally.

The day passed quietly for both men: Steve spent the day pulling sheets off furniture, cleaning the truck which had been sitting in the driveway, untouched for six months, and restocking his cupboards. He felt very domestic, it was a weird feeling but it gave him a sense of direction and purpose of getting his life back on track. He went to HPD to see Duke – “McGarrett! So, it’s true!” – to the biker gang led by Duane- “McGarrett! I knew you were tougher than the ol’ grim one!” – and finally, he called Catherine, he didn’t want to but she deserved to know.  
“Rollins.”  
“Hey Cath.”  
_“Oh my god, Steve_.” She whispered, Steve heard her exhale down the phone.  
“You probably want an explanation.”  
“ _I can guess why, and the rest of it is probably classified_.”  
“Not to someone with your clearance, I’ll give you the short version. There was a mole in the CIA, someone who knew my mother, I was asked to find them. After I got word Doris was dead, I stepped up the investigation, but they threatened everyone I know. I did what I had to do.”  
“ _Your mother is dead? Oh, Steve are you okay?_ ”  
“I am. Look, I know you’re busy, but I thought you deserved to hear it from me, not through CIA channels.”  
_“So, what are you gonna do now?”_  
“I’m back at home, but I don’t know about Five-0 yet.”  
“ _I’m sure you’ll make the right decision. I gotta go, but you can call me any time.”_  
“Thanks Cath, see you around.”

Danny, on the other hand, spent the day buried in cases, just needing to keep himself distracted. Looking through unsolved cases, filling in reports, the menial parts of the job. That evening, he went to the restaurant, it was a Saturday so it was packed. The regulars greeted him, the staff all liked him, he loved this as much as he loved being a cop. He noticed Grace and Charlie were sitting in the corner with Rachel, giant plates of pasta and pizza in front of them.  
“Danno!” Charlie called as he walked over to their table.  
“Hey Charlie! What are you guys doing here?”  
Rachel stood up to talk to him, “I thought I’d take the kids out for dinner and they both insisted on coming here. Grace wanted her favourite food after all the airplane food and takeaway dinners we had.” With the Steve situation, Danny had almost completely forgotten about Grace’s college search.  
He ran a hand through his hand. “Oh my god, I completely forgot you were doing that?”  
“Danny? Are you alright? What’s happened?” Rachel was concerned, they might not have been married any more but she still cared for the father of her children.  
He looked around, and pulled her slightly away from their kids. “It’s Steve. He’s, he’s erm…”  
She didn’t understand what he meant. “He’s what? What are you talking about?”  
“He’s not dead. It was all fake, the whole thing.”  
“Oh god, Danny, are you alright? Have you seen him? What happened?” Questions poured out of her mouth, as confused as Danny was when he saw Steve in the garage.  
“I don’t know, it’s a lot. I’m not sure what I’m gonna do, it’s still new.” As they talked, Grace had picked up on her father’s emotions, she knew something was wrong but she couldn’t tell what it was.

Later, Rachel was distracted with Charlie, so Grace slipped away to talk to her dad. He was talking to Nahele and his friend who they’d given jobs to.  
“Hey, Danno? Can I talk to you?”  
“Sure, sweetheart what’s up?”  
“What were you talking to mom about earlier? Is something wrong?”  
Danny exhaled heavily, he explained what had happened to Grace, who’s eyes went wide with shock. “Uncle Steve is back? I don’t get it Danno.”  
“Neither do I monkey, neither do I.” He shook his head and told Grace to go back to her mom and brother, saying not to talk about it because he still didn’t know what Steve’s position on it all was. Then again, he wasn’t sure it mattered what Steve thought or what he wanted, after everything. The rest of the evening was easier, he didn’t have to talk about Steve, but there was a still a photo of him on the wall, as well as one of him and Danny in front of the restaurant on opening night, and a series of ones of the Five-O ohana. He avoided looking at them and ran between the kitchen, the bar, and the customers. The night unrolled and the restaurant emptied. The regulars stayed the latest, but when the last orders call sounded, they rolled out of there. He sent the staff home, and opened a bottle of wine, pouring himself a glass, sitting at the bar. The silence caused his thoughts to circle back to Steve, and he finally realised that he just felt betrayed and deceived.

“You got any of that left?” Danny turned around to see Steve stood in the doorway, arms folded, wearing an apologetic expression. Danny didn’t want to see him, but they needed to have a proper discussion about everything, without being interrupted.  
“How’d you get it? I locked the door.”  
“I still have a key. Look, I came by because I wanted to say I’m for this morning, I shouldn’t have said anything about moving in. We’re barely together and it was-”  
“Barely together?” Danny was outraged at Steve for describing everything like that. “We’re not even together. Before you died, we were just sleeping together, we hadn’t told anyone, it wasn’t a relationship, it was maybe one step above friends with benefits but that’s it!” His voice raised at the end of the sentence.  
“That’s what you think of us?”  
“It’s what I think now! There was a time when I thought we’d have a future together, but then you died, and I had to think about a future without you, so I started telling myself it was nothing special we had. And now you’re back, wanting to go back to what it was before. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is great, but I can’t pretend like everything is back to normal.”  
“So, what do you want? Do you even want to be together in anyway?” Steve’s face fell.  
Danny had to confront his “Right now? I don’t know what I want! I feel betrayed, beyond words. And I don’t know if I want to wake up one day and you’re gone again. I can’t go through that again.” He didn’t look at Steve, avoiding all eye contact.

There was a heavy and angry silence. Steve thought about what Danny had said. He didn’t want to admit that Danny could have been right, but it made sense. The fact that actually, Danny had a right to be scared.  
“However I feel about you,” Danny finally said, “I don’t know if it’s enough to stop me from being terrified that you’re gonna disappear again.”  
“Danny, I get it, okay, I made mistakes, mistakes that might not be fixable. But, that night, you found me in the garage and I said... that.” He swallowed. “I said it because I meant it, and because I feel that way, I’m never leaving going to leave again. I spent six months entirely alone, six months in hell, hoping that I would be able to come back home to Hawaii, to Five-0, to you.”  
Another silence, Danny mulled over what Steve said.  
“I believe you, Steve, but I’m going from nothing to everything too quickly and I can’t do that, because I don’t know if I can trust you.”  
“It’s my fault for assuming you would be able to pick up where we left off, and now I think about it, I don’t think I would be able to either.”  
“Then where do we go from here? Everyone else knows about us, we can’t keep it quiet like before.”  
The entire time, Steve had stayed by the door and Danny was by the bar. The space between them was intensifying the silences by two hundred percent. “They’re going to understand, because what happened isn’t exactly normal.” Steve ultimately replied, accepting what Danny wanted.  
“So, you’re okay with keeping it casual? Because I don’t want to ruin our friendship and partnership here and at Five-O because we’re not together properly anymore.”  
“I’m the one who ruined everything with what I did.” Steve admitted, it was time he accepted his actions.  
“Oh babe,” Danny hopped off the stool and walked over to Steve. “I know you didn’t have a choice, and you know I am here for you no matter whether we’re sleeping together or not.” He took Steve’s hands and interlocked his fingers.  
“I’m gonna go,” Steve said, pulling away from Danny. “Casual and lowkey I can do, but I need to know what that means for me. Does it mean dinner once a week or what?”  
“It means we see how it plays out. Remember what it was like those first few weeks? Like that, but we don’t have to sneak around during dinner.”  
“Of course, I remember. Good night, Danny. I’ll see you at work on Monday.” Steve turned and was stood in the door way when Danny spoke.  
“You’re coming back?”  
“I am. I can’t imagine my life any other way. See you Danno.” The door swung shut, leaving Danny alone in the restaurant, coming to terms with the fact that Steve has just compromised for him.


	5. The Rhythm of the World Doesn't Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An announcement at Five-0 send Danny and Steve job hunting

They’d been making it work, the relationship. Since that argument in the restaurant, they’d both been giving each other space but still going on dates, still sleeping together. Two dinners, one movie night in - followed by sex, of course, and a large amount of texting; plus all the time they spent together at work, the last four weeks had been good.  
Steve was getting back into the rhythm of life in Honolulu: from work to home, and all the bits in between. He’d come back to work after a week of sitting at home, bored to death. Sleep was still a struggle, closing his eyes meant seeing the cell, the box he’d been trapped in. Some nights were better than others, the nights when Danny was asleep next to him were the best, but there’d only been a few of those.  
Danny was finding himself beginning to trust Steve more, but it wasn’t easy. Their work partnership was too strongly based on keeping each other safe and without that trust it was difficult to work together like they used to.

**Monday Morning**

  
When Danny arrived at work after dropping the kids at school, there were only two people there. Lou, who was sitting in his office, enjoying his morning coffee and malasada before the day started; and Steve who was stood up, staring intensely at a file on the desk, hands on hips, wearing a frown.  
“Hey,” Danny wandered into Steve’s office. “What’s got you wearing constipated face number 3?”  
“It’s this case,” Steve said without turning around. “Something doesn’t add up.”  
Danny looked at the files: all the crime scene photos, all the bank records, witness and next-of-kin statements. Steve was right, they were missing something.  
They stood in silence, next to one another, trying to figure out the case out.  
“What about her?” Danny pointed to a photo of one of the victim’s colleagues. “Motive and opportunity.”  
“Alibi is air tight.”  
“Crap.”

Steve shifted his weight and leaned on Danny’s shoulder. He was the perfect height to make a human shelf.  
“What are you doing you animal? I’m not your personal doorframe.” Danny pushed him off, scowling.  
Steve pouted, “But you’re the perfect height.”  
“I don’t go using you as a ladder when I need to change a lightbulb, don’t use me as a shelf.”

Their argument was interrupted by Junior and Tani arriving. Junior looked ecstatic and Tani was had a huge smile on her face.  
“What’s up with you two?” Danny and Steve walked out into the centre of the room. Lou joined them a moment later.  
“Oh nothing, nothing,” Tani answered quickly. “So what’s going on? Solve the dentist’s murder yet?”  
“There’s another case that’s just come to our attention.” Lou answered, looking very smug.  
“Oh yeah?” Junior replied.  
“It’s why you two are so happy but won’t tell us.” He continued.  
“Yeah Tani you’re positively glowing- wait” Danny paused, figuring it out, as Steve and Lou realised too. “You’re not...?” He asked, and she nodded in reply.  
“Congratulations! How far along?”  
“Only a 8 weeks.” She blushed and smiled, looking at Junior who was beaming broadly.  
“Congrats you guys.” Steve hugged them both. “You know, if it’s a boy Steven is a great name and Stephanie is great for a girl.”  
“They’re not gonna name their child after their boss, you putz.” Danny lowered his voice to a whisper. “Daniel and Danielle are also great names.”  
“Guys it’s still early days,” Tani laughed, “But we’ll keep that in mind.” She winked at Danny. In the back of his mind, Steve was thinking about who could fill in go Tani while she was on maternity leave. It was a fair way off but he knew there was only one person who could fill that position.

They spent the next week interviewing potential replacements for Tani, but with every passing candidate, Danny and Steve began to lose hope that they’d ever be able to find someone.  
“...Thank you, we’ll be in touch.” Danny showed the last person out of the office and collapsed into the interviewee’s chair, spinning it around to face Steve.  
“Why is there no one on this island who is qualified to work here?” Steve sighed, dropping his head into his hands.  
“No one is mental enough to work here. Our loved ones mortality rate is through the roof.” Danny explained, only half joking.  
“You know there’s only one person who’d ever fit in here.”  
“But she’s on the mainland.”  
“She did think about coming back, maybe she needs some motivation.” Steve reasoned.  
“Call her then? But maybe talk to Adam first? Hell, if Rachel had started working her I would’ve quit faster than you undoing all the buttons on my shirt.” Danny smirked, but he was being serious about everything else. “Look, I gotta go, Grace only babysits her brother for an hour before she starts charging. Bye babe.”  
“Night, Danno.”  
Steve was left alone in the office, the only light was the gentle blue glow from the monitors and the lamp on his desk. He sighed heavily, it had been working with Danny but he did want more. He hoped things would change soon but he had to accept that an extended phase of a lot of sex and not much else was the best way forward.

The next morning, Steve was in the office alone when Danny arrived. He’d noticed that had been happening a lot, and Steve was always the last one there.  
“Morning babe.” Danny stuck his head around the door, blowing a kiss to Steve.  
“Morning, I’m gonna talk to Adam today, you want to be there?”  
“Nah, the poor guy’ll feel ambushed if it’s both of us.”

When Adam arrived at work, Steve gestured for him to come into the office.  
“Hey Steve, what’s up?”  
“Obviously Tani’s pregnant, and she’s going to be on maternity leave in the near future. We’ve been interviewing replacements but no one is the right fit for this team.”  
“What’s this got to do with me?” Adam looked suspicious, like he was going to be asked to do double the work.  
“There is person who we know who’d fit right in, but we’re not sure...” Steve paused, trying to gauge the reaction.  
“It’s Kono, isn’t it?” Steve thought he saw Adam’s eyes light up for a moment, but it could just have been the neon strips above them.  
“Yeah, look we don’t want to ask her to come back if you didn’t want her to. This team is Ohana, and it’s important that’s you’d be alright with us at least asking.”  
“I mean I don’t know, nothing bad ever happened between us, there’s no bad blood. I just don’t know what it would be like, I haven’t seen her since you, came back. If you think it’d be best for the team, It’s alright with me.”  
“Look, I haven’t even asked yet, she might say no.”  
“Thanks for asking me, I appreciate it.” Adam left the office and Steve phoned Kono moments later.

“Special Agent Kalakaua.” She answered after only one ring.  
“Kono, it’s McGarrett.”  
“Hey boss!” Even after all this time she still called him boss; he smiled hearing her say it, it reminded him of a simpler time. “What’s up?”  
“I called to offer you a job. It’d be a step down from what you’re doing now but you’re the only person for the job.”  
“You’re asking me to come back to Five-0?”  
“That’s the idea. Look, you don’t have to make a decision right now, and I have to tell you that the position might not be permanent.”  
“Huh? Danny’s not pregnant, is he?” Steve heard her laugh down the phone.  
“I hope not! But you’re kinda right, it’s Tani. We wouldn’t need you for another three or four months, but think about it?”  
“Say congratulations to Tani for me. I will think about it, mahalo for calling me.”  
“Bye Kono.”

A day or so passed: cases were solved, texts were sent, shrimp was eaten, baby names were discussed. Kono didn’t call.  
Another day passed, Steve’s phone stayed silent.  
Saturday came, and Steve was beginning to wonder whether Kono was going to take him up on the offer.

Charlie had a surfing lesson midday, so Danny made the most of the beach and texted Steve to join him.  
“Anything from Kono?” Danny asked, when Steve sat down next to him at the beach.  
“Nothing yet, but she’s still got time.”  
“I don’t know, maybe she’s moved on from Hawaii? It’s been a long time since she was back.” Danny shrugged, watching the surfers on the water.  
“What’s up with you? You’re not having doubts about us, are you?”  
“No, no, it’s not that. I don’t know, maybe bringing Kono back isn’t a good idea? This team has changed since she was last here, and do you really think she’d accept a demotion?”  
“I know, you’re probably right. It didn’t hurt to ask though. I’m gonna get out on the water, I haven’t surfed in a long time. You wanna come?”  
Danny looked over to where Charlie’s class was taking place, not wanting to leave him. “He’ll be fine, you worry too much.”  
“I worry for the both of us.” Danny grumbled, walking to Steve’s car, where their boards lived permanently.

The two men swam out beyond the breakers, sitting on their boards, waiting for a wave.  
“When I thought you were dead,” Danny suddenly said, looking out to the horizon. “It was like those first few months when I moved here. I was lonely, miserable and didn’t have anything to do. Everyone was taking pity on me and I started hating this island again. I was ready to go back to Jersey.”  
“I can’t keep apologising, Danny.”  
“I’m not asking you to, I just need to tell someone.”  
“Tell someone what?” As they’d been talking, another surfer had swum up next to Steve, they had been too involved in conversation to notice.

They turned to look, recognising the voice.  
“Kono?”  
“Hi boys.” She smiled her gorgeous, bright smile.  
“What are you doing here?” Steve asked, smiling a little too.  
“Surfing, mainly.”  
“Okay, don’t tell us.” Danny looked away smugly. “I might not out rank you but he does,” He turned to Steve. “You have ways of making her talk right?”  
“How long have you known me?”  
“Okay! Okay! I’ll tell you!” Kono held her hands up in surrender. “After you called, I talked to my team, we’ve hit a brick wall and there’s been no new leads in weeks. I need a break, not from working but from sleeping in crappy motels and chasing dead ends.”  
“When did you get back?”  
“Last night, I’m staying at my parents. Dad’s really happy I’m home, I think mom’s realised but it’s hard to tell.” Her smile became sadder, thinking of her mother.  
“Did this mean you’re gonna take the job?”  
“Yeah, I, I think it’s the right thing to do. I’m gonna spend a month or two going between here and LA before Tani goes on maternity leave so I can make sure everything works back there while I’m gone.” As she finished speaking, they all saw a wave building up. “See you on the beach!” Kono called before swimming away. Danny and Steve followed her, elated that she was coming back.

"Have you told Adam?" Danny asked as they all dried off on the beach.  
"Not yet, I figured I have a bit of time."  
"He said he wouldn't hate the idea of you being back when I asked him." Steve shrugged, lying through his teeth.  
"Did he?" Kono raised her eyebrows.  
"No, but we all know how he still feels about you."  
They walked back to their cars, boards under their arms, "You're certain?" Kono said, putting the board into her trunk.  
"About 80%."  
"Huh. I'll see you guys around." She hugged them both, before getting in her car.  
"Bye Kono, talk to Adam!" Danny called before she left.

"You really think it's gonna work out with her and Adam?" Danny turned to Steve as they walked back to the beach.  
"I hope so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the best chapter, but I needed to get the story moving, so this is kinda filler soz


	6. The Changes We Make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny helps Steve and his PTSD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda long, but we're getting into the story now stick with it people

**Few Weeks Later**

Danny woke at some ridiculous hour of the morning thanks to Steve tossing and turning in his sleep. It scared Danny because he could see that Steve was genuinely suffering, and there was very little he could do about it. He knew that it was worse when he wasn’t there to calm Steve down when he woke up almost crying out in pain. He knew that he was the reason Steve was able to sleep better at night, because he could comfort him and be the reason Steve felt safe at night. Although they were now spending a lot more nights together, now Danny’s trust of Steve had improved, it was easier, there was still a long way to go.  
Gently moving so one arm was wrapped around his boyfriend’s body, comforting him. Steve mumbled something that sounded like ‘Mmhm Danno’, before turning over and pulling Danny closer to his chest, his breathing and heart rate slowing dramatically.

At a more reasonable hour, they both woke when Danny’s alarm beeped, also waking up Charlie who they heard bumble downstairs to watch TV. Grace, ever the teenager, wouldn’t be seen before at least 11am.  
“Sorry if I woke you,” Steve mumbled, turning over to face Danny in bed. “It’s getting better but I still can’t sleep without, y’know...”  
Danny’s face was centimetres from Steve’s, he could feel his warm and slept breath on his skin. “Don’t worry about me, I want to make sure you’re alright.”  
“You know I’m better when you’re here, but I get that we can’t do this all the time.” Steve rolled onto his back, pulling Danny so his boyfriend’s head was resting on his chest. Danny exhaled heavily, thinking about how he could help Steve without accelerating their relationship, which was moving at a pace which they both were very happy with.

“Hey uncle Steve.” Charlie said, not taking his eyes off the TV as Steve tried to sneak into the kitchen to make some coffee.  
“Hey Charlie.”  
“You’re all the time? What’s happened? Have you not got anywhere to live?” Charlie enquired, he wasn’t quite old enough to understand why Steve was always at the Williams’ house in the morning wearing either last night’s clothes or pyjamas.  
Steve paused, thinking of a response that that was suitable for an eleven-year-old, but thankfully he was saved by Danny coming downstairs.  
“Hey Charlie? Remember Melissa used to stay a lot? And how her and Danno used to go out to eat and sometimes I’d get Grace to look after you when I wouldn’t come home till after you were asleep?”  
“Erm, yeah?” Charlie answered, eyes still glued to the tv.  
“Well me and uncle Steve are like that now.” Danny looked at Steve, seeing an understanding and graciousness in his eyes. There was a short silence before Charlie just said “Oooooooooooooh. Cool.” And went straight back to the TV.

In the kitchen, Steve made coffee while Danny was preparing waffle mix in a bowl.  
“Every time I’m here I end up eating half my body weight in waffles or pancakes.” Steve commented, stirring a spoon of butter into his coffee (Danny looked on, disgusted).  
“Stop staying here then.” Danny snapped, hearing Steve’s comment as a criticism.  
“I’m not complaining, these are the third best waffles on the island.”  
“Only third? I mean I know that Wailana Coffee House is in first place, but I could at least take second.”  
“Oh, buddy if you think these are better than my waffles you’re very much mistaken.”  
“Oh, is that so?” Danny got right up in front of Steve, using the fact that the Navy Seal was leaning on the table to equate to his height.  
“Yeah, what’re you gonna do about it?” Steve felt Danny’s breath on his face.  
“Try me, you putz.” Danny replied, not breaking eye contact.  
“WAFFLES!” Charlie suddenly shouted zooming into the kitchen, going straight for the fridge to get the various calories full sauces out. Upon hearing her brother shout, Grace had also rolled out of bed and had trudged downstairs in pyjamas, looking extremely tired (and hungover, but don’t tell Danny).  
She silently poured herself a mug of coffee and flopped onto the couch without a word.  
“Hi?” Danny said, making a face which said ‘teenagers’ at Steve.  
“Hi Danno,” She replied, pulling out her phone. “Hi, Uncle Steve.”  
“Hey Grace.” Steve replied, sipping his coffee. Grace had barely reacted to Steve being back, he’d guessed that she was used to parent-figures in her life leaving and coming back, as sad as it was.  
From the kitchen Danny and Steve could see the TV, Charlie was watching some kids programme that Danny was sure he’d need to arrest the makers for possession of hallucinogenic substances, based on the acid trip of a show they’d made. But as he watched, as the main character’s animal sidekick helped him, he thought of something to help Steve sleep when he wasn’t there.

Steve headed home after eating his body weight in waffles and letting Charlie explain the whole system of all the new Marvel films to him. Danny watched, silently - for once - formulating a plan in his head. Once Steve had gone, Danny phoned Jerry.

After Steve had died, Junior had initially looked after Eddie the Dog, but upon finding out their son was allergic to dogs, he had to give him to someone else. Jerry looked after him for a while, but it just didn’t work out, Eddie kept running away and could be found lying on Steve’s grave, not knowing it was empty. Jerry gave him to a friend, who worked for some huge estate owned by the author Robin Masters. Eddie had enough space to run, to chase birds and he had stopped escaping to sit on Steve’s grave.  
“Hey Jerry, you wouldn’t have the number of the person who took Eddie? I think Steve misses him, and after everything I think it’d be nice to have him back.”  
“Yeah sure, it’s here somewhere, give me a second.” On the other end of the phone Danny could hear Jerry rummaging through stacks of paper and drawers to find the number. “So why now? What’s the sudden want to have man’s best friend back?” Jerry said as he looked.  
“Steve’s not sleeping, he’s not as fearlessly Steve as he used to be. I’m worried about him, but I can’t be there all the time to look after him. I know lots of vets have dogs and stuff so I guess I hope it’ll help him.”  
“Oh right, yeah cool. Look I can’t find her number but if I give you her name you can run it through HPD database to find it.”  
“Misappropriating police resources? Sure.”

Danny searched the name and came up with a phone number.  
“Hello?” A woman’s voice answered the voice, Danny recognised a British accent.  
“Hi, I’m Detective Captain Danny Williams with Five-O, I’m looking for a dog.”  
“Well, Detective Captain Danny Williams, I have three dogs, which one are you looking for?”  
“It’s a golden retriever called Eddie, you must have had him for about three months.”  
“He’s great, he’s an ex-service dog, right?”  
“Yeah, look I was wondering if I’d be able to have him back?”  
“I can do that, but I would like to know that the dog isn’t going to some crazy person.”  
“Yeah of course, so a buddy of mine recently finished a,” He didn’t know how to explain it. “A tour, and Eddie was his dog and I think it’d be a good way to help him get back in his feet.”  
“That sounds a really nice thing to do, of course you can have Eddie back, here’s the address. The Masters’ Esta- “  
“I used the HPD database get this number, I’ve also got the address. Can I come by this afternoon?”  
“Yes of course. Just buzz the intercom when you get to the gate and I’ll let you in.”

Danny pulled up the huge iron gates of the estate, buzzed the intercom, and they slowly swung open.  
“You must be Danny?” A tall, beautiful blonde woman met him on the porch as he got out of the car.  
“Yes, you are?”  
“Higgins, Juliet Higgins.”  
“With the accent and the way that you just said your name, anyone would think you’re 007.”  
She laughed lightly - he was right, but she didn’t say anything. They went into the house, Danny in awe of the building.  
“So, Eddie?”  
“Yeah, I hope this is all okay? I get that it’s a bit unorthodox to ask for a dog back after it’s been given away.”  
“Provided it’s going to a good cause. But I have to ask, I thought the original owner had died? That’s why Eddie needed a new home.”  
Danny’s stomach tightened, he hated being reminded of the fact that Steve had actually died to most people. “I’m afraid that’s classified police business.” He half-lied.  
“Oh, I understand.” She didn’t. “Eddie?!” She called, there was a split second of silence before the dog came bounding into the room, followed by a young, black haired man wearing a red Aloha shirt, carrying a squeaky toy.  
“Hey buddy!” Danny crouched down, Eddie nuzzled into his chest, licking his face. “Did you miss me?! Yeah you did!”  
“Who’s this?” The man asked Juliet, dropping the toy which sent Eddie wild.  
“Detective Captain Danny Williams.” They shook hands.  
“Danny Williams? You’re with Five-O, aren’t you?”  
“Yeah? How’d you know? We didn’t arrest you or anything?”  
“I’m Thomas Magnum, P.I. We’ve never crossed paths, but I’m sure we will at some point. I heard what happened to Commander McGarrett, I’m so sorry to hear that, he was a good man.”  
Danny snorted in laughter. “You knew McGarrett? How?”  
“We were both SEALs, only crossed paths once downrange. But that man would walk into gunfire if it meant saving your life. He was insane but that’s what we needed.”  
By this point Danny was both agreeing with Magnum about how insane Steve was. He also didn’t have to worry about speaking-ill of the not-so-dead.  
“You’re not wrong about that, but actually McGarrett isn’t dead. He’s very much alive and is back in Honolulu.”  
“What?!” Magnum’s mouth dropped open like a goldfish.  
“It’s all-”  
“Classified police business.” Juliet finished, smirking. “Something tells me it’s a bit higher up that just police business. And let me guess, this is who Eddie is going home to.”  
“You’ll have to ask Steve. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you again Magnum. Look I gotta get back, my kids will go nuts if I’m not back for pizza night.”  
“I’ll walk you out,” Magnum said, showing Danny to the door, where Eddie dashed past them both and sat patiently by the car. “So, he’s back?”  
“Yeah, and with a promotion: Captain Steve McGarrett.”  
“Must have been a hell of an assignment.”  
“You’re telling me.” Danny rolled his eyes, and opened the car door Eddie, who immediately leaned into the front seat where he used to always sit.  
“It was nice to meet you Magnum, if we ever need a PI, I’ll call you.”  
“Likewise, Captain Williams-”  
“Danny, please.”  
“Danny, I would like to see McGarrett again, I owe him one.”  
“Don’t we all.” Danny muttered as he got into the car, driving back home.

He arrived at home, where Grace and Charlie welcomed Eddie with cuddles and treats. “Not too many, or he’ll be too fat to swim with Steve.”  
“You’re giving him to Uncle Steve?” Charlie’s face fell.  
“He is Uncle Steve’s dog.” Grace replied, rubbing Eddie’s belly. She leaned in closer to her brother, whispering to him. “Hey once I go to college it’s your job to convince Danno to get a dog.”  
“Never gonna happen.” Danny replied. “Grace can you look after Charlie for a couple of hours? I gotta see a man about a dog.”  
“Only if we can order pizza.” She held out her hand, gesturing for the money.  
“I’m literally paying for you to go to college, the least you can do is pay for pizza.”  
Grace’s reply was a pout that Danny couldn’t resist. “Pleeeeeeease.”  
“Fine.” He slapped 20 bucks into Grace’s hand and went into the kitchen.

“Hey, Steve. It’s me.”  
“I know it’s you I have caller ID.”  
“...can I come over like now? There’s something I wanna talk to you about.”  
“...Sounds serious? Everything alright?”  
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll explain when I get there. Bye babe.”  
Steve was left on the phone wondering what the hell was going on and why Danny was being so cagey.

“Come on Eddie! Time to go home.” Danny practically had to wrestle the dog from his son’s arms. As soon as they were in the car, Eddie had recognised the route and was panting with excitement, tail wagging like it was an Olympic sport.

He pulled up to Steve’s and knocked on the door, Eddie waiting patiently at his feet.  
“Hey Dann-WOAH!” Steve had barely opened the door when he was hit by a flying ball of golden fur. “Hey buddy! Did you miss me? Yeah you did!” Steve immediately dropped to the floor to scratch, stroke and play with the dog. “I’m sorry I gone, but I’m back now.” He was lying on his back, Eddie stood in his chest, sniffing and licking to check it was really Steve. Danny hadn’t seen Steve look that happy since he’d been back, and Eddie was just as excited.  
“Anyone would think he’d thought you’d died.” Danny mumbled sarcastically.  
“Ha. Detective Funny Williams everyone.” Steve replied, equally sarcastic. He stood up, brushing the fur off. Eddie promptly padded over to his favourite spot on the carpet and fell asleep. “I’m guessing this is what you wanted to talk about.” They went through to the lanai, grabbing beers on the way.

  
“Yeah, look I know you’ve been having trouble sleeping, clearly whatever happened in Burma-"  
“People’s Democratic Republic of Myanmar.” Interjected Steve, getting his own back for all the times Danny had done it to him.  
“Whatever happened there has really changed you. I know you come into work before everyone else and you’re always the last to leave. You’re still swimming before that, and you’re staying up late to work cases. The only times you ever sleep are when I’m there, but that’s not a lot. I know a lot of vets and servicemen have dogs which seem to help, so I thought I’d get Eddie back to try to help.”  
Steve was stunned into a silence, he couldn’t believe Danny had been that thoughtful. “How’d you know I wasn’t sleeping?”  
“You consume about four times the amount of coffee than you used to, and you just seem so tired all the time. Even under your cold, hard I-might-as-well-be-a-action-man exterior, I know you’re a big softie.”  
“Mahalo Danny, you didn’t have to do this.”  
“That’s the thing though, you weren’t going to do anything because you’re too stubborn.”  
“I’m not stubborn.” Steve grumbled, knowing Danny was one-hundred percent correct.

One part of the relationship that had been a constant before and after “six peaceful months of not fearing for my life”, (as Danny was now referring to the time between Steve’s death and him coming back) was their ability to be in each other’s company in silence. They didn’t need to be talking or even touching to know the other was there.  
This was one of those moments, until Eddie came plodding out of the house and he curled up at Steve’s feet in a patch of sunlight which had been keeping the grass warm.  
“You used to be a cat person.” Danny smiled, as Steve scratched behind Eddie’s ear.  
“I still am. Eddie is the exception that proves the rule.”  
“Right, okay. So, if I were to get a dog, you’d actively not like it?”  
Steve disagreed, “I wouldn’t not like it, I’d just prefer if you got a cat.”

Another silence, another moment of quiet contemplation.  
“What I said before, about not rushing things, about how I didn’t trust you, I did mean it.”  
“Yeah I know. Wait, what are you saying? This hasn’t been lowkey and casual enough for you?” Steve’s voice trembled with worry, that he was going to lose Danny.  
“No, no, the opposite actually. It’s been much easier to find myself trusting you, maybe I was too quick to say I didn’t, I didn’t even give you a chance. But my point is that I wanna make this official. I trust you, Steve, and I can’t imagine a life without you.”  
Steve swallowed, he was glad Danny had said that, but he didn’t know how to step their relationship up.  
“Danny, I... I guess I should say I’m glad you trust me again.”  
“I don’t think I ever stopped trusting you really, it was more like I stopped thinking I could count on you to be there all the time, because you suddenly weren’t.”  
“Right, okay.” Steve looked down at his watch, checking the time.  
“Sorry? Am I boring you?” Danny almost snapped, feeling like Steve hadn’t really listened.  
Steve looked up, smiling cheekily. “When’s Grace expecting you home?”  
“Not for another two hours. Why-oh, ohh...” Danny looked up to see Steve’s expression: he knew it well, he knew what it meant and he downed the last of his beer in seconds, before being pulled inside and onto the couch by Steve.

Some time later, Danny was buttoning up his shirt, while Steve was pulling on his cargo pants.  
“Oh my god you’re something else.” Danny breathed heavily, he was always very, very tired after sex with Steve.  
“You’ve had six months of withdrawal.” Steve wandered into the kitchen, opened the fridge and got a beer out. “You want one?” He called to Danny, who joined him moments later;  
“Can’t, I’m driving, remember? Grace starts charging if I’m late now.” He laughed lightly, and Eddie came shuffling into the room, sniffing around the floor, looking for where his food bowl used to be. Steve leaned bent down and rummaged around in a cupboard until he found a bag of dry food and Eddie’s old bowl. The dog buried his face into the food and sat on the floor munching while Danny and Steve watched.

“I should probably go home.” Danny said after a moment of quiet.  
“Alright, thanks for doing this.” He referred to Eddie, who was still chewing his food. They both walked to the front door, Danny checking he hadn’t left any items of clothing on/under/around Steve’s couch.  
“Bye babe!” Danny called, opening the door of the Camaro.  
“See you tomorrow, Danno!”  
“For what?” Danny looked puzzled.  
“Work? Our jobs? You know, that thing we do?”  
“Isn’t it Saturday?”  
“No? It’s Sunday. I hope.” Steve leaned on the door frame with one arm above his head.  
Danny was genuinely very confused. “What happened to Saturday? What did I do?”  
“Me.” Steve replied, smirking. Suddenly Danny realised Steve was right, and he’d been so wrapped up in worrying about Steve that he’d lost track of time. Steve turned away about to close the door behind him, when Danny called out.  
“Bye, love you!”  
Steve stopped in his tracks, the door still open. Danny had frozen, half standing, half sitting in the driver’s seat. Steve froze too, in the doorway, his back to Danny. A beat of silence dropped.  
“Love you too!” Steve replied, before shutting the door behind him. He sighed heavily, as did Danny, once the doors were closed behind them.


	7. Can't stay away from you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer is causing everyone to make impulsive decisions

A month passed: 4th of July came and went. Steve was getting better, with Danny at his side now it was easy with someone to rely on; and Eddie was helping him sleep at night when Danny wasn’t there. He liked the feeling of another presence near him when he was alone in the house. After saying ‘I love you’ to one another, their relationship has transitioned from mostly sex and passionate kisses, to Steve becoming a very regular part of the William’s household. He helped Grace with exams; played catch with Charlie; babysat Tani and Junior’s daughter – Maia; swam with Eddie, and humoured Jerry’s conspiracist ramblings.

July turning into August meant temperatures were high: air conditioning units worked hard to pump out cold air, shops were selling out of water and ice faster than it was being stocked. Surfing, paddle-boarding, and swimming were the only sports anyone was willing to do. The height of summer also meant tourists flooded the island, kids were still on vacation and Oahu was bursting at the seams.

Steve was lying on his sofa, in a perfect spot under the air-con breeze, and out of the sun. Eddie was sprawled out on the floor at his feet, panting heavily. He didn’t like not having anything to do, but it was just so hot that it seemed that even murderers had taken the summer off. The doorbell rang and he just assumed it was someone who’s car had overheated, or was looking for a drink. He ignored it, too hot to move, even Eddie didn’t react. But the visitor was persistent, ringing and knocking rapidly.  
“Alright, I’m coming!” Although the sofa was less than ten feet from the door, it still took Steve a while to make it to the door. “Mary?” He was stunned when he finally greeted the guest.  
“Hey, bro.” She smiled, they hadn’t seen each other in over a year, since way before Steve had ‘died’.  
“What are you doing here? I thought you, erm, you never wanted to see me again?”  
“I know, I’ll explain it all, but Joan’s in the car and there’s only so long a ten-year-old can stay still.”  
“Okay, yeah, this is your house too.” He wandered back inside to get a drink and to clean up a but before his sister and niece descended on the house. He was confused why she just turned up, no phone call, no text, nothing.

Joan was keeping Eddie occupied, while Steve and Mary sat in deckchairs in the shade.  
“So, you’re gonna tell me why you came back?”  
“When you called me, I was mad, upset, confused, I didn’t know what do to. You did exactly what mom did and I was pissed. But I remembered how horrible it was without you, and I’m still friends with you on Facebook. I saw how Danny could forgive you, and I thought that maybe I should give you a chance.”  
Steve smiled at his sister, happy that she had changed her mind. “Thank you, I love you and you know what I did was to keep you and Joan safe.”  
“I know, Steve. We’re only here for a couple of days, and I miss Danny’s grandma’s meatball’s and pasta. Think you can fit us in at Steve’s?”  
“I can probably strongarm the owner into it.” He winked at his sister, who laughed lightly.

The temperature had dropped a little by the evening, but the air con was still working hard to keep the restaurant hospitable. A sign was blu-tacked to the door, ‘Closed for private event’, they weren’t losing much business because no one wanted to eat out in those temperatures.  
Steve and Danny were mingling among their friends, family and colleagues. Charlie and Joan were running around the restaurant, ducking under tables, playing while the adults ignored them. Grace and Will were sitting on in booth, laughing over something, ignoring the rest of the world. The adults talked, drank and ate: reminiscing, joking, missing Chin, Max, other friends who couldn’t be there.  
“Room for two more?” A voice suddenly interrupted Steve and Jerry’s “conversation.”  
“Kono? Adam? Come in, come in!” Steve went behind the bar and got two beers out of the fridge. The two were greeted into the party, everyone was too wrapped up with conversation to notice the new intimacy between the two. Well, nearly everyone. Danny and Steve had spent enough time sneaking around to know what it looked it.

Charlie and Joan had fallen asleep and had been carried to the couches in the office upstairs. Will and Grace were still watching YouTube videos, and everyone else had mellowed out and they were sitting on the veranda. Adam had gone to the bar with Danny, helping him carry more bottles. “So, you and Kono are back together, huh?”  
“How’d you know?”  
“The eye contact across the room, the subtle hand holding, coming in one car, this ain’t my first rodeo.”  
“It’s obvious?”  
“No, I’m just good at my job.” They were about to join the others, when Adam stopped Danny in the doorway.  
“We’re still only trying it out, just seeing if we can make it work again.”

“You saw Kono and Adam tonight?” Steve said to Danny as they closed up the restaurant.  
“Hard to miss,” Danny was drying up glasses while Steve filled chairs onto tables. “I think it’s gonna be good for Adam, and for Kono.”  
“Yeah I do too.” Steve seemed reluctant to make further conversation, and Danny understood so he just carried on cleaning in silence. They finished cleaning, and were leaning on the bar.  
“I’m so proud of this.” Steve said, looking out at the neon sign through the windows.  
“Yeah me too, I still can’t believe it.” Danny linked hands with Steve, their fingers twisted together.  
“I’m so proud of you for keeping going when I was gone.” Steve said, breathing heavily  
“It was something I got to see you in, that wouldn’t risk my life, that I could see you in without having the pressure of Five-O weighing on me. This was our dream, it was just ours.”

Steve didn’t reply for a while, just thinking about what Danny said, how the restaurant was the only thing that had ever really been just theirs. He was thinking about their relationship, how, really, the majority of the time they spent together was at Five-0 HQ or at the restaurant. A feeling of regret grew in his stomach, that maybe they needed to find a way to be with each other without being at work. Their entire relationship had been based on a work partnership which had grown in life and death situations; in the stress of the restaurant; in work and in cases, but they didn’t spend a lot of time with one another that was just peaceful, where they didn’t have to worry about a bad Yelp review or casing down a suspect. Steve squeezed Danny’s hand subconsciously, and Danny squeezed back, his thoughts were largely the same as Steve’s.  
“Mine or yours?” Steve eventually said, looking at Danny.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean we’ve had a good evening, normally we end these things one way, or another…” Steve’s fingers stroked their way up Danny’s arm.  
“Babe, I gotta take Charlie to Rachel’s tomorrow morning, and I never leave yours early.”  
“So, yours then?”  
“I don’t know, Charlie and Grace are home, I don’t want them to hear.”  
Steve looked down at the floor, before pulling Danny towards him: his arms wrapped around Danny’s waist, even in the heat of the summer they couldn’t keep their hands off one another.  
“What’re you doing?” Danny whispered between kisses and breaths.  
“If we can’t go to yours or mine, I guess we’ll be staying here.” Steve pulled Danny through the office door.  
“The sofa?” Danny complained, stopping Steve.  
“You’ve never complained before.” Steve noticed Danny’s apprehension, sitting down on the arm of the sofa.  
“I don’t know, I’m kinda bored of this,” He gestured to the room and the couch. “I hate having to sneak around like we before. It’s like when we hadn’t told anyone.”  
“What are you saying?”  
“I don’t know. I love you, you know that, but I feel like we’ve got stuck in a repeat of stuff like this.” Danny’s hands dropped to his sides, away from Steve.  
“What are you saying? That this is over?”  
“No, no, I don’t know. Maybe. I gotta think.” Danny stumbled over his words, panicking.  
Steve mulled over what Danny had said. “I’m gonna go,” He stood up, leaving the office and the restaurant. Danny was left alone to lock up, thinking about what the future was for them. He didn’t feel like it was either of their faults, nor the result of a mistake made, but it was just getting boring and repetitive. He drove home, alone, half listening to the late-night radio stations. Once he was home, he couldn’t sleep, thinking too much about him and Steve.

Steve had fallen asleep straight away, into a confused and tired slumber. He dreamt about a future where Danny wasn’t there, where he left the restaurant and Five-O to re-join the Navy, training the new recruits, like Joe White had done for him. His life was no worse without Danny, but it wasn’t better. Maybe it was an improvement, this alternative life, he wasn’t as stressed, everything was regimented and ordered. After the op in Burma, that was what he felt like he might need. He felt like he needed a life which was somewhat predictable, or a life he could exert a sense of control over. But it was lonely without Danny. Not just without his boyfriend, but also without Grace and Charlie, without Five-O or HPD.

Danny dropped Charlie at his ex-wife’s - Grace was so busy studying that Rachel had had agreed let her stay at Danny’s so she wasn’t disturbed. After leaving Charlie, he drove straight to Steve’s, wanting to talk about the conversation they left unfinished last evening.  
“Hey.”  
“Hey.” Steve replied, once he’d opened the door and let Danny in.  
“I know it seems a bit soon to some back to talk about this but we’ll end up not talking for days and I’d rather just skip to the inevitable.” Danny leaned on the bannister, avoiding eye contact.  
Steve crossed his arms, feeling like he might have to defend himself about their relationship. “Where do we go from here?”  
“I still love you, I still care about you and I trust you but I don’t know whether this is interesting anymore.”  
“How do we change that? I don’t want this to end, I don’t want to lose you Danny.”  
Danny didn’t reply for a while, thinking about the options they had. “Move in with me.”  
“What?”  
“Move in. I mean, we spend so much time at each other’s, it makes sense.”  
“I don’t know Danny, seems like a big step.” Steve was apprehensive, unsure that he wanted to leave his home.  
“What would you suggest then?” Danny snapped.  
Steve sighed, realising that Danny was right, it made sense and it could help them move on in their relationship. “Why not mine? I mean my house is bigger.”  
“You really want to uproot two kids, one who’s applying for college and studying for exams, and the other, who’s got the most impressively built bedroom.”  
“You’re right.” Steve stepped over to Danny, taking his hands.  
“Really? You’re not gonna argue with me on this?”  
“No, I think it’s in the best interest for both of us.”  
“I love you.” Danny kissed Steve softly.

**Three weeks later**

The temperature had dropped a little, and Steve and Danny were glad as they spent the day carrying boxes from the truck to Danny’s house. Steve’s house was staying in his name, Danny understood that he still wanted somewhere to work, to think sometimes. Steve was still very attached to his old house, it had been in his family for years, and he believed that it still held secrets from both his parents. He knew he wasn’t going to hold onto it forever, but for now it was nice having a space that was his own. Steve didn’t have a lot of stuff, but it was still a full day’s work: packing, unpacking, wrestling with parcel tape and bubble wrap, Danny constantly commenting on the quantity of cargo pants Steve owned, and Steve regularly telling him to be quiet. Charlie was attempting to help but he could only carry small items at a time, and Grace was trying to ignore the noise.

Once the boxes were empty and unpacked, Steve and Danny sat in the garden, tired after a long day of going from the car and the house.  
“I still think there’s an unnecessary amount of cargo pants.”  
“They’re practical and comfortable.”  
“Practical if you carry grenades like they’re your keys.”  
Steve rolled his eyes, “Thank you for letting me keep my place.”  
“I know you, I know you’d want to keep your home.”  
“I won’t keep it forever, but…”  
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short, but I promise the next chapter is 100% worth waiting for


	8. History doesn't repeat, it reflects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old faces bring everything crashing down

Four months since they’d moved in together, Steve was adjusting to living with Danny and his kids. He was now used to helping Charlie get ready for school, helping Grace with her homework and exams. He swam with Eddie, he slept with Danny, he bought groceries, and he was part of the Williams family. But in the back of his mind there was a feeling that he didn’t completely belong. They weren’t his children, and he always wanted his own.   
The case they were working was a home invasion, both parents and their son had been killed. The going theory was a robbery gone wrong, but the dead boy had hit Steve in place and in a way that he hadn’t felt before. Now, as he saw Charlie as his own, he was beginning to understand the feeling of parenthood more and more. The work day ended and they hadn’t made much progress, so the team decided to go for a drink to relax. There was no suspicion that another murder would occur. Tani was on maternity leave, so Kono was a permanent part of the team. Her and Adam were now back together, even discussing living together. Seeing them together was making Steve think about the future of his and Danny’s relationship.

“First round’s on me!” Steve called, gesturing for Danny to help him carry the trays of beer. “Oh, look I’ve forgotten my wallet.” Steve patted his pockets, and smirked at Danny.   
“Now we live together I might start bringing it with me when you leave it on the kitchen table.” Danny grumbled, handing the money to Kamekona. 

Steve was quiet that evening, he was tired and preoccupied with the case, the murdered family was weighing on his mind. It was making him think about the impermanence of life, and how short life really was. Danny had seen Steve’s distance from the group and he wasn’t pushing for conversation, pushing for reactions.   
“Room for two more?” Two voices surprised all of them, and the group looked up.   
“Cuz!” Kono leapt up and hugged Chin tightly. The rest of them did the same, hugging Chin and Addy whom they hadn’t seen in months.   
“What are you guys doing here?” Danny asked, as the couple sat down on the bench.   
“We had some vacation days saved up and thought it was the best time to bring Sara and Kieran home.” Abby explained.   
“How’s it like having two of them now?” Kono asked, handing her cousin a beer.   
“It’s more than double the work, that’s for sure,” Chin scoffed, smiling contentedly. “So, how long have you two been back together?”   
“Couple of months, we’re just seeing how it goes for now.” Kono answered quite quickly.   
“Now Kono’s back in Honolulu, it’s easier to make it work.” Adam continued.   
“And you two! Living together now? How much space do his cargo pants take up?”   
“Too much,” Danny rolled his eyes. “Not quite as much as the quantity of grenades I’ve got locked in a trunk in a safe in my garage.”   
“I still have three boxes in my garage,” Steve scoffed, and smirked. “You can have them if you want.”   
“You’ve kept your own place?” Chin was surprised.   
“For now.” Steve explained about how he didn’t want to leave his house behind without the floorboards being pulled up to find secrets, or any books with the centres cut out to hide god knows what.   
“We haven’t talked about this much,” Chin said, once Steve had finished explaining himself “But we were thinking about maybe moving back here, not soon but at some point.”  
“If, or, when you do, you have my blessing to move into my house.” Seeing Kono and Adam together had made Steve feel something he hadn’t since before he was going to propose to Catherine. Seeing Chin and Abby happily married, and with their children, was making him consider the future of their relationship. 

Steve and Danny were both at the restaurant all day, Danny in the kitchen and Steve rushing between tables keeping an eye on the guests and the wait staff. “Mr and Mrs Williams, another bottle?” “Lou, Renée, enjoying the bruschetta?”   
He went to see Danny in the kitchen, “How’s the lamb for table six coming?” He called over the noise of the staff shouting and cooking.  
“2 minutes babe!” Danny replied, yelling from behind a cloud of steam.   
The restaurant was a complete contrast from their day jobs. Interacting with living people who weren’t grieving or suspects, the bustling noise of the kitchen was so different to the intensity of solving a case. Steve loved seeing their customers happy, it was a satisfaction different to that of solving a case.  
They closed up and drove home for the night. Danny lay in bed with his head on Steve’s chest. “You’re really considering giving the house to Chin and Abby?”   
“I can’t think of anyone else I’d be happy to see in that house.”   
“Night, babe.” Danny rolled over, pulling the sheets up around him.  
“Stop hogging the covers.” Steve grumbled, pulling himself close to Danny. 

“I’m going out, I’ll see you this evening.” Steve called, leaving Danny and Charlie at home.   
“Bye babe!”   
The first jewellers Steve drove to didn’t have the type of ring he knew Danny would like, they were all too sparkly. So, he drove to another, but the result was the same. The third one was the same too. After driving around the island, stopping at anywhere he thought might sell engagement rings, he eventually found a small store on the north side of the island.   
“Good afternoon sir, how may I help you?” Steve was greeted by the clerk.   
“I’m looking for an engagement ring, for my partner.”   
“We have a large selection over here, plus a few in the back. If you’d care to have a browse, ask me anything you need help with.”   
Steve stood over the cabinet; looking at the various bands and rings. “Would you be able to get this one out so I can have a closer look?” He pointed to a gold band, with a silver twisting pattern spiralling around the gold. He knew Danny would love it, “How long would it take to get this made in a size L?”   
“Actually, sir that is an L, I can clean it up for you and you would be able to take it home today.” 

Steve left the jewellery store, 300 dollars poorer and with a ring in his pocket. He knew he wasn’t going to propose immediately but he wasn’t going to wait for too long. It was dark by the time he was driving back home, night had fallen and there were few cars on the road. He was thinking about how and where would be best to propose. His thoughts were wandering around whether Danny would appreciate the ring in a bottle of beer when CRASH!   
A tree branch fell in front of the car, the shock suddenly jolted Steve out of his trance and he swerved the car out of the way. In the moment, his foot also slammed onto the gas pedal and the car jolted forward, smashing into a tree, before sliding and crashing down the hill.   
The air bag exploded into Steve’s face, but that didn’t stop his head from being thrown into the steering wheel, his forehead bleeding heavily. As it slid, he was thrown around in the vehicle, his ribs broke, puncturing a lung. He fell unconscious, the intensity of the pain setting in, darkness falling in his head. Someone must have seen the damage to the tree, to the fence along the side of the road, and called emergency services. He was rushed to the hospital, and straight into the OR. 

Danny sprinted down the hospital corridors, Kono, Junior, Adam and Grace in tow. “Captain Danny Williams, I’m looking for Steve McGarrett.” His heart was racing, he’d been in such a similar situation before. That time, it had ended in the worst way possible, and Danny was feeling sick that this time it would be exactly the same.   
“He’s in surgery now, please go the waiting room, it’s down the hall on y-”  
“Yeah, we know.” Danny left the nurses’ station, knowing where they’d all spent so many hours on both sides of the operating theatre doors.

Later, while Danny was pacing around hospital, Kamekona, Noelani, Grover, Will, and Nahele arrived, carrying shrimp, malasadas and coffee. They all knew it would be a long night. They’d all been there too many times, and they really did not want the outcome to be the same as last time. Chin and Abby turned up around midnight, having dropped Sara and Kieran off with Renée Grover.  
The night drew out, the hospital emptied, and Steve was still in surgery. Grace and Will were asleep in a corner, curled up in the hospital chairs. Danny couldn’t sit still, pacing around the waiting room, along the corridors. Kono was sipping a cup of coffee, resting on her cousin’s shoulder. 

Danny was stood still, staring straight out of the window, down at the hospital car park, his hands shaking. Adam noticed the tension and joined him, handing him a cup of coffee.   
“I remember last time.”   
“Why does shit like this always happen to us? To me?”   
“He’ll get through this.”   
“You said that last time.”   
“I don’t know what else to say.”   
Danny sighed, knowing Adam had a point. “I don’t know if all of this is worth it. All the hours spent here, or in an ambulance, at his funeral. I don’t know if this is all worth it.”   
Danny had spent the entire time since the hospital called him worrying and thinking about their relationship. He was beginning to feel regret and doubts about whether his love for Steve was really merited all the stress.

“Danny Williams?” The glass doors slid open, and a doctor walked in. The entire group stood up, holding hands and clenching their fists.   
“Yes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there kids

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what's going on with this tbh I was gonna write an angsty piece but I couldn't do it without a lot of gin


End file.
